"Yes! You're both MY friends, and you're BOTH invited to My birthday party, and it's going to be a PRINCESS party!"
- quote from a little peacemaker, age 5
I'm pondering how to best be a peacemaker when my friends are in conflict. I'm not a natural at it.
Right now is a good time to ponder this, because right now I am NOT in the middle of such a conflict. But one could pop up anytime, being sinners like we are. And being a cowardly-type sinner, I am loathe to help out. I just want to duck out of the way and wait until it's over. Actually, I just don't want it to happen. But if it does, I want to be NOT involved. Can't we all just get along?
A few weeks ago, 2 little BFFs had a conflict at church; the kind that is important to little girls. The kind that ended with two little pouty friends saying to me, "She's not my friend anymore, and she's not invited to my birthday party," and "Well, she's not my friend anymore either, and she's not invited to MY party either." {DISCLAIMER: It was two little bitty girls; not Earthgirl}
Sigh. Even with little girls, I'd rather back away. But I waded in, pulled them to me, and reminded them that they have been friends for a long time - as long as they can remember, which is maybe three years. I told them that it would be sad to say things like this to each other and hurt feelings when they were such good friends.
And then I looked at their sweet, sunny friend, who was looking on with interest and concern, and said something like, "Maybe since you are friends with them both you can help them get along." She agreed with me, put her arms around both waists, and sang out the joyous promise above. What delight greeted her! Princesses were discussed, smiles beamed, and invitations by all three to all three were exchanged.
I was astonished. Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God. (Matt. 5:9) I know a little girl I call daughter of God.
I wish it could be just that easy, but with adults it's always complicated. Or is it? Always? How often have I missed a chance to be the peacemaker because I feared that it was complicated? How often have I feared they might both turn on me? Maybe sometimes I could just wade in, get in the middle and be sweet, and maybe, just maybe, discover that they want to be friends more than they want to nurse their hurt feelings.
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
James 3:17-18
3 comments:
Thank you for such an inspiring post. Wishing you all a wonderful Sunday.
Great post. Great way to handle the "You're not my friend anymore!" It irritates me when my kids say that. They don't really mean it, and they hurt each others feeling when they say it. Thanks for a sharing a way of handling it.
Pluto Boy here, excellent post. You told it in such a way as to make the lesson really stick.
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